McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
