I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
