What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
