Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
