Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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