Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
