just tell him i said nine months
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
