He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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