I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
