I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
