i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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