I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He better not be in your backpack
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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