Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
