i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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