I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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