Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
