she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
