I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
