thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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