I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
