Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
