someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
