Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
