The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
