Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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