I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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