quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
