I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
