you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
