Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
