dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
