But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
