look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
