My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize