I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just want to make out with him forever
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
