i was rollin on her like bob the builder
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
