is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
