I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Text me some of your sweat
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
