I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
