i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
