I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
