I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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