as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
