Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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