you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
