It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
