My brain says no but my pants say off.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
