you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
