I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Sacagawea was the original milf.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
