If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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