just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
