At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
