you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
